went to Korea today... :)

over in shaumburg
is an AWESOME korean restaurant

that chris + fansong,

i cannot recall eating korean food

or kimchee for that matter,

but this was different but very good for me the vegetarian...

after dinner and much kimchee, we went down the strip to a korean grocery store of sorts...
it was awesome! i picked up some korean candy, mostly sweets consisting of chocolate filled cookies (see the boxes)
and some hard candy and a bottle of cider/sprite - korean style

that was a lot of fun,

and perhaps tomorrow
i'll go to chinatown in chicago

going to asia

without

leaving the country

*nv*

homecoming 2night...

Yeah,
so that is what tonight is...for some peoples,
but for me
it is a night of homework, blogging, talking and perhaps
a pizza...yo tengo mucho hambre!
i am hungry because i haven't eaten much in the last three days,
don't ask

it's hard to explain, except to say that i've been too busy to eat.
i am getting off track...

anywho,

no homecoming this year for me,

i am single (which i've said too much about already)
and i'd feel akward going alone...

not alone as with anyone

but as in alone without a friend who's a girl or a girlfriend.

so...

we'll see what next year holds!
;)

looking for a nine foot asian model with good singing abilities...

just kidding...or am i?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
*nv*

how are you doing...REALLY!

Yeah, this is what should be asked
instead of the norm of "how are you doing?"
because we BS our fellow man with the "fine" and "good" talk.
it may be true, but if someone can say that all the time
they are lying!
i too am guilty of telling people i am fine or good,
but lately since i've been doing bad
i've told them that...
now it's hard to be honest all the times in regards to our emotions
and such, but if it's one-on-one conversation and time is
not necessarily a factor, please don't BS me!
i can usually tell when i am being BS-ed, it wounds me a little,
that people would do this to me, when i am just trying to help...

my classmate/aquaintance (t) was not doing that well
and she told me straight off what was wrong
which was encouraging, please do so likewise.

i ask because i care;
i am made of flesh, i am human and i have my pains as well,
please
i don't mean to put you on a pedistal
or on freud's couch (below),
i simply want to know how you are doing,
REALLY!

trying to be honest to others about how i feel,
&&&nv&&&

feeling better... :)

yeah,
so i am feeling better...
i am (close) to being at peace about the decision she may make with her life.

however...
if this war persists

for much longer

i may have to become

an active anti-war activist
instead of saying "give peace a chance, even if george w. bush won't!"
but for now,
i'll wait
and perhaps
write on my hand;
"Damn the War"

for now...

i know GOD will watch my friend

and i will leave it in his hands,

nothing else i can do, i guess.

Make love and not war!
(In the sense of loving one another and not the sexual sort.)
***nv***

emotions...a poem

it left me raw and undone,

to hear this news about you,

how i've come to know you

and soon you may be gone...

where does a guy,

start to try

and figure out

what to do

with pain that makes him

blue

my heart

is feeling

dizzy

over

you

going,
*sigh*

all i can say

at this time

is

GOD's will be done

while

i remain

undone...
*nv*

i'm in a mind fog...

*sigh*

i'm partially lost mentally this morning...
i talked to one of my friends

yesterday, and it looks like she
is entering the military life.

i don't cuss often,

but damn... i feel saddened,

damn emotions...why must they get the better of me?

i

am

sure going to miss her

if that is what she'll

do with her life;

i pray that she picks

navy over marines,

the latter...meh, i don't want to start.

it's not like i've known this girl forever,

but it has been a good three years or so...

a very good three years
*sigh*

i'll miss her dearly,

more friendwise than anything else,

but...

yeah-

i don't what else i want to say about this

:*(
*nv*

photo from http://www.jsu.edu/news/july_dec2004/Ohatchee%20Morning%20Fog%208-93.jpg

gosh! i <3 DA = Daniel Amos...

Lately,
i've been listening to this band
while i have been doing my
homework in the library.
they

are

...
i don't know what to say

except that they are better

at communicating the

word of GOD better than
some CHRISTian bands of today which simply slide in JESUS and GOD here and there. not that today's CHRISTian music is bad, but simply, the message of GOD has come to a state of softness aka "Family Friendly"
i say (or rather JESUS said) Matthew 11:15 - "He who has ears, let him hear."
let
GOD's
message
ring true
and
not
watered down!

*nv*
p.s. if you get the chance to listen to daniel amos, don't pass it up!

most DUH comment i've read today - homework wise...

this is in my YouthMin book
"This way to Youth Ministry: An introduction to the Adventure" by Duffy Robbins.

On Page 249, near the end of the page is this interesting and overtly obvious quote;
this is in regards to culture traits such as smiles, hand gestures and such.

"However, if the person approaches with no smile or wave
and holding up the middle finger (a different combination of culture traits),
this forms a culture complex widely recognized as a
not-so-friendly greeting."

all i can say is
DUH!
really? when someone gives me the bird
they don't mean it in a nice way?
hmm...i never knew that.
*sarcastic speech and smile*

this...this is crazy,
does this mean that he doesn't think we know what the third finger is used for
or
are there people unaware of what that gesture means?

either way, it's funny and too obvious
;)
*nv*

Questionnaire thingy from (c)...

1) My uncle: has more hair on his chest than on his head.
2) Never in my life: have i gotten a piercing.
3) When I was five: i was naive in a good way.
4) High School was: busy with youth groups and sports.
5) I will never forget: my grandfather on my mom's side.
6) I once met: George Bush Sr.
7) There’s this girl I know who: talks to me by phone and in person, in which 2 1/2 hours go by like 5 minutes (which is a good thing, sometimes).
8) Once, at a bar: i saw a Greek cheese dish catch on fire and the waitress exclaimed "Ohpa!"
9) By noon I’m usually: want to eat something for lunch.
10) Last night, I was: up studying with some vanilla coke in my system.
11) If I only had: a girlfriend, i'd start to experience things that can't be done while being single - and I am not talking about that 'mushy/lovey dovey' things alone... ;)
12) Next time I go to church, I'll: listen/take notes/shake hands/and maybe smile genuinely...
13) Terry Schiavo: should have been left on life support, who knows? GOD works in great ways all the times, but sometimes we don't realize it. She should have been allowed to live, it was a right of her's that was taken away.
14) What worries me most: is finding myself in the same rut(s) as my parents.
15) When I turn my head left: i see another computer in The Ben computer lab.
16) When I turn my head right: ditto to 15.
17) You know I’m lying when: i seem hesistant.
18) You know what I miss most about the eighties: Daniel Amos concerts and other Christian concerts.
19) If I was a character written by Shakespeare: i would want to be a character that makes the audience laugh out loud.
20) By this time next year: i'll be 22 and...yeah, i don't know yet
21) A better name for me would be: Ronald Gothicburg IV - as in Roman Noodles for four and also in regards to blood.
22) I have a hard time understanding why: C's thing for me is not in my Cpo yet... :(
23) If I ever go back to school I’ll: be right now where i am, in school.
24) You know I like you if: i act random, smile alot and maintain good eye contact, i may look away, but that's because i can't look at someone eye-to-eye all the time!
25) If I won an award: it would be deec.
26) Darwin, Mozart, Slim Pickens & Geraldine Ferraro: are either dead and/or stupid in some way.
27) Take my advice, never: hold in pain too tightly, it hurts alot.
28) My ideal breakfast is: this is my carnivore side talkin': General Tsao's Chicken with a lot of rice, that or tapioca pudding and waffles.
29) A song I love, but do not have is: Mercy Street by Peter Gabriel.
30) If you visit my hometown, I suggest: that we go back to your town!
31) Tulips, character flaws, microchips & track stars: are nice in their own way
32) Why doesn't everyone: pay it forward instead of back?
33) If you spend the night at my house: we could watch a movie on my itty-bitty screen and perhaps eat some ice cream and talk...for a long time :)
34) I’d stop my wedding: if it wasn't meant to be or my wife-to-be passed out and needed to go to the hospital.
35) The world could do without: mosquitos and fast food restaurants, but i come from a background where home cooked meals are regular and very good.
36) I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: get a tattoo of a swatstika on my forehead and have my tongue split.
37) My favorite blonde(s) are: my sisters 3...though one is artificially intelligent - yup, she dyed her hair brown...i actually picked out the shade of brown!
38) PAPER CLIPS are more useful than: glass hammers, airline food and other abnoxious things that are simply oxymorons...
39) If I do anything well: it's probably a good time to run away...j/k
40) And by the way: i may not live in the US for much longer

there!
done!
now copy and paste and fill in your own!
*nv*

a new shirt message i want to get!

Okay...

So while i was working in The Ben tonight,
i came across this message

in ccm - mid eighties...
i am
going
to take that
message and
make my own
shirt!
i
know
it
will
turn
some
heads,
but
it poses a humourous
suffix that people
use sometimes...
i like it alot!

feelin' controversial ;)
*nv*

*sigh* - i am on a trip down memory lane...

Memory Lane
from the album "Doppelgänger"

Memory LaneWords and Music by Terry Taylor
©1983 Twitchen Vibes / Paragon Music Corp. ASCAP

You have gotten much thinner
You're lookin' like a shadow
It's from dwelling on the might-have-beens
Living in a time-warp
To whom am I speaking? Some ghost from the past?
While you think about old glories
You're fading real fast
You take too many trips down memory lane
You take too many trips down memory lane
You take another trip down memory lane
You go down there once too often and you're likely to remain

You play old music

Well some of it's a bore

To me it's all irrelevantLike Haight Street and love beads

Still you want to make a statement

But this nostalgia thing hangs on

Your friends all miss the point cause

They see where you've gone

They've seen that you've gone to...

It's another flat testimony

Inflated with emotional gas

Though the truth never changes

Shouldn't you, couldn't you Shouldn't you, couldn't you (I'm trying)

Couldn't you, shouldn't you, couldn't you, won't you!

You make a list of all your failures

You count all your heartaches

Please sit up straight at the table

And eat your words

Much too weak

I think complaining is a crime

And like the boy who cries wolf

We don't believe you anymore, we watch you

Travel back in time to...

*sigh*
this is my predicament at this time...
i am working and reading Campus Life magazine...from 1981!

i sometimes think that i like the past more than the present

except that i was not part of that era.
so my ranting and raving gets me nowhere
and i cannot go back in time
and so i take "too many trips down memory lane."
i
sometimes

lose
focus
of
the
present and the now
and
dream
of
back then...
meh,
i should stop.

memory lane is full of experiences i have never had,
***nv***

one word at a time...

one
word

at

a

time

is

all

i

want

to

say

.

.

.

why

is

it

that

we

rush

ourselves

into

a

fury

that

leaves

us

nowhere
?

i

think

that

we

should

slow

down

our

days

and

enjoy

them

instead

of

rushing

into

tomorrow

even

though

it's

not

here

yet

.

.

.

slow

down

take

time

to

enjoy

the

day,

because

today

is

the

only

one

of

it's

kind

*
*
n
v
*

*

bloodied rose...ye who i have loved

bloodied rose...ye who i have loved,
ever since your stain of pain has matted your face of grace,
i have been haunted by your beauty...
how sad it is
to see your face wretched and etched with pain
the sin of within
has poured out and about
this ground without sound...
i sigh and cry
for what was
and now is gone without a song,
i linger on in rememberance of what was
and what will be...

*nv*

back in the day...part 1

well...
when i was a youngster twenty odd years ago
there used to be samurai pandas. these pandas would go around

with their katanas and cut off the heads of whoever they saw fit to be decapitated...
sadly, my grandfather was decapitated by a samurai panda
it broke my grandmother's heart
in which she eventually ran for president of the world
and won
and then she made it illegal to be a samurai panda
and now
there are no longer any samurai pandas,
only regular ones
and ones that seem to have jobs as
-DJs in the club
-Workers at McDonalds and other fast food places
-Ice cream salesmen
and test drivers for Kia and Hyundai...
*sigh*
those
were
the
good
days.

photo from http://www.airynothing.com/photos/pandamania/trip4/trip4-Images/110.jpg

the four seasons...in which i like only three

so out of the four seasons,
i like only three...
1.) summer

2.) fall
3.) spring
and...
winter does not rank
because i do not like
snow
the cold
ice
driving in such conditions
and etc.
winter time may look nice,
but it is lethal to me...
i was born in july for a reason!

when i talk about snow or winter
it is a metaphor i use for death and such things
that are bad... not that death is bad, but in the context
of my wintery poems and such, it is.
i like this autumn so far
but i fear a bad winter...brrr and meh!

anti-winter person,
{{{NV}}}

it's happening, and some how i expected it...

Judson is seeming more and more group oriented,
in a good and bad way...
as i ate my lunch alone (by choice) i looked and saw various groups;
- the internationals
- the upperclassmen

- the FECAM's (freshman east coast archetecture majors, i saw and deemed this group earlier on, but i thought they would "mingle")

and yes...
i too am hooking up with certain individuals,
mostly the upperclassmen and internationals
but i am trying to break
that mold that is in the process
of being casted.
i
don't
like
being
identified
by
only
one
group
of
people
.
.
.
meh

friend to all, deemed as an individual and clique-free
***nv***

forgiveness

Forgiveness is something that does not come easily for me,
i tend to overlook the problem(s), but i don't necessarily remove the baggage of forgiving that person.
This is not the way of dealing with the pain of someone,
the best way to do it is accept wholeheartedly the person's token of asking for forgiveness. We also need to go wholeheartedly into asking for forgiveness if we have wronged someone as well.
GOD forgives us of what we have done wrong, in which the gift of Grace is not to be taken advantage of, but with what we have done wrong, we need to work at going down that road again.

It is hard, i know, but in the long run, it is worth it 100% no doubt about it.

learning how to Forgive wholeheartedly <3
***nv***

photo from http://handsofdorcas.com/images/Forgiveness.JPG

talking with aaron

so after the younglife meeting,
aaron and i talked for a while... he was kind enough to ask "how i am doing, really!"
i let him know, which led to a long(er) conversation which was awesome.
he's a guy who i've known through spanish class only
and i keep thinking in my mind that he's a big kid, albeit one who's 10 years older than me, but...
but GOD is using him.
he gave me some interesting insights and feedback in regards to what's up with me really.
it's cool
to have feedback from someone
who's just been an acquaintance of sorts
who is becoming someone i can
really have good talks with. :)

"GOD moves in mysterious ways"
"GOD uses acquaintances and friends in mysterious ways"
***nv***

new poems...

yeah, so i wrote some poetry this weekend.
lately my poetry has been written electronically and not so much by hand.
i feel almost martha stewartesque; being that i wrote the poem, got the leaf for the background and then scanned it.
oh well,
i like collecting leaves in the fall,
i'd give some away, because at this time there's plenty to go around.

liking fall, dreading winter...(i hate the midwest for this)
***nv***

off to younglife

So now i am off to younglife geneva,
just a regular monday meeting we have...
i am so glad i work here for my practicum,
not much yet except for leadership training and such-
but it is still very fun!

ciao mi amigos y amigas!
***nv***

nice ride...for now

The 2007 Bentley Continental GTC...
Nice, Expensive, and a Bentley.

$$$ and cars don't bring ultimate happiness,
only GOD does!
***nv***

oy vey...server is slooow.

So... the last two days
have been bad-internet wise.
they updated the email in some regards
and that left the server running slower than 14.4 dialup.

and now...
it seems like it is faster.
so
i
may be able to
submit some of
of my newest
poetry that
i wrote this
weekend.

ciao! homework calls :)
***nv***

either i am weird, tired, hungry or all of the above...

yeah...about that.
this is my dinner-
something to munch on
*and yeah, i did put it on a scanner!*

;)

***nv***

sigh and perhaps double sigh

so i did some homework today...some,
i played (perhaps)maybe too many video games.
this is not wrong
but if it interfers into other worthwhile things

then it is a wrong...

i now have more to do on sunday,
but perhaps i can stay up later...
i don't feel too tired

so that is an option.

*sigh*
i feel like such a waster of time,
yet i can go back to my homework-
i guess it is something that is etched into my brain,
which is a good thing;

kind of a personal guilt trip...

here's to working on homework
in a not so distracting environment.
*but it's up to me to make that choice*
***nv***

an autumn/oak poem

autumn is my 2nd favorite season,
***nv***

1 month of school!

wow!

a whole month into the school year...
it has gone by quickly,
yet not completely.
i have
some homework
that i need to work on,
but that comes with

being in school for a month.

i'll write later,

but for now i am in homework mode...or getting there.

is God safe?

from http://dancingbones.org/xena/wallpapers/otherfannish/Aslan-365-cys.jpg

"In The Chronicles of Narnia, an allegory by C.S. Lewis, the author has two girls, Susan and Lucy, getting ready to meet Aslan the lion, who represents Christ. Two talking animals, Mr. and Mrs. Beaver, prepare the children for the encounter. "Ooh," said Susan, "I though he was a man. Is he quite safe? I shall feel rather nervous about meeting a lion." "That you will, dearie." said Mrs. Beaver. "And make no mistake, if there's anyone who can appear before Aslan without their knee's knocking, they're either braver than most or else just silly."
"Then isn't he safe?" said Lucy. "Safe?" said Mr. Beaver. "Don't you hear what Mrs. Beaver tells you? Who said anything about safe? Of course he isn't safe. But he's good. He's the king, I tell you!""
Our Daily Bread, February 17, 1994.

GOD is not safe...yet he is good.
As CHRISTians we need to realize that GOD is not this.
When we start to make GOD out as safe,
we start to box him up and not let him take over all
instead of the "GOD-box" i've mentioned before.

let GOD be unsafe,
let him mess things up in your life,
let changes occur, not of your own, but of GOD.

keeping GOD unsafe,
***NV***

more random photographs..._nv_

random photographs i have taken...