The year is nearing it's end...

But I'm not too worried...

A whole year is near an end, but after seeing 23 beginnings and endings, I'm long used to it. I am however not used to distance between those I love as human beings who I only see during the school year, people who are close to me (in distance but also as friends). How is it that school brings us together and once we're 'free' we separate back to our small pockets of friends, back in the towns we grew up in - for a while or for life - it intrigues me that we are separated...which I think to an extent that is fine, but not too far (which is where I think it is now).

***

What's also on my mind is that I am entering my senior year, a B.A. in Psychology by next December (God willing). I will find practical use with such a degree once I get back into Youth Ministry, but that is something that will have to wait (or at least in a full time sense) because I have a fiancee and two sons, so I'll have to invest time and energy to start providing them in that sense, but being a Youth Minister is no raisin in the sun experience that'll slip through my fingers, but in time...in time.

Chrissy and I'll be together as a couple for a year on the 10th of January, I'm still brainstorming what I can plan out to make it special (perhaps dinner out or something like that). I made her a wonderful St. Valentine's Day dinner last February, I hope to top that sometime soon!
We planned to get married after I graduate next December, April 11th be precise, but we're talking it over and we might get married sooner, as in September of next year! Exciting, Scary, but heck, I'm up for it if she is! It would be nice to get married sooner, but admittedly I know I will be busy with school work during the Fall semester, so my duties as a husband and father will be limited. I hope it all works out for the best, but sometimes I can be such a doubting Thomas in my life -- I have many WHAT IFs -- In which I am learning and relearning to give all the worries of my life to my Heavenly Father.

Happy Birthday Mom...

Deal with me in writing out this open and raw blogpost...thanks.

Today marks my mom's 55th year of life, yes this is her real age (yet so many people think she is at least 10 years younger). To cut right to the chase, I'm worried that she is losing her mind; she is acting very irrationally and she has become a very paranoid person, in particular she blocks the number (*67) and expects me to pick up every-freaking-time she calls. NO! I won't buy her s*** of my father, who she thinks will trace the number and come after her OR she 'can't' let me know her real number, because she's not 'supposed to give it out' to family members and friends... WTH?!?
I am sick and tired of her calling me, threatening me, blaspheming God (WWJD - her response to my 'disobedience' of not picking up) and other stuff that just works me up and pisses me off.
You know what? I haven't seen her in more than 3 months, that right, I have not seen her since prior to I left for school and a few days, it sickens me that she has been out of touch with me ever since... :*(

Happy Birthday mom,
where ever you are...physically and mentally.

It's December! When did this happen...oh yeah, today! ;) ;P