life today for adolescents - as I see it

One thing I am realizing this semester with St. Charles Young Life is more of the hurt that exists in today's society. It has been there for a long time, and sadly, it's not leaving any time soon.


2 songs come to mind that to me capture youth today, or at least those I minister unto; Papa Roach - Broken Home and The Fray - How to Save a Life

Here's an explanation for each song, feel free to play it and read along:

Papa Roach - Broken Home

To me, this song is kind of like a modern "cats in the cradle" by Harry Chapin, in which Papa Roach's song quickly identifies the person (presumably a youth, or recollection from childhood) who has come from a house that's been shook to its foundation by divorce (and if you watch the music video it shows that there might have been something more). The song is not a downer, but it paints a sad picture of what's taken place, but also it touches on the subject that quite possibly it is a generational deja-vu; i.e. what happens to the youth, happened to the youth's father.
I can relate to this song, while my parents haven't divorced, there have been a lot of events in these days/weeks/months that has shaken the core of our family, and sadly I didn't think it would turn out like this, but it was definitely heading somewhere downhill.
Working with youth who come from broken homes, I've made myself close and yet there's some distance because how can I relate? Yet as a result of the things that have been taking place in my life/family life, I can identify with them better, it's not all sympathy, but I am starting to become empathetic.

The Fray - How to Save a Life
Is this a song about the what-ifs of life as a result of a friend who has killed themself? Is it regret for not doing something different in the life of someone else? I'm not certain to the fullest extent of what this song is exactly about (here's the music video) and yet it paints another picture of what the youth I work with are going through.
Even tonight, as I talked to one of the youth, I asked him who a certain someone was in which he titled his MySpace for a while, he shared with me that it was a friends sister or some similar to that -- the girl committed suicide. He mentioned that she was on the verge of committing suicide for some time now, he said she attempted 8-9 times prior to this one that sadly ended her life. This suicide isn't the first one mentioned, during a time in which we've prayed as a group of guys, several of the youth mentioned how they had friends/relatives commit or try to commit suicide, some guys even mentioned they were the ones who helped their peers to not commit suicide.
Such is the burden that some of the youth today have to carry on their backs, it's a heavy burden and as a youth leader/youth pastor of sorts, it saddens me that satan has planted dispair and hopelessness, as if to say 'the only way out is by death.'

In all, youth today have it rough, and even if it is obvious, we who are youth pastors and youth leaders need to get involved and help out youth. Even if it is not our title/position, we who are followers of Christ need to help out.

[n][v]

Head knowledge vs. heart knowledge

Head knowledge vs. heart knowledge

In my time away from JudCo. I've started reading...more! Whether it's liturgies, spiritual practices, Greek Orthodox literature, the Bible, and others...no bragging on my part whatsoever. Anyway, as I've read these books and are going through more, I'm steadily...slowly...

Moving that knowledge from my head,
to my heart...

In some ways, it's like love; you may know about Love with your head, but it is best practiced out by your heart. Not that your heart should be a compass when it comes to love, but as a follower of Christ I've mixed what I've learned (head and heart knowledge) and started practicing that out;

Love, I've learned, is something that should not be on a limited basis; one should not love 'because you have to' but because you want to. God's love is unlimited, deep and abounding; His love...I am in awe of God for many a reason, but His love...I cannot put it in words, I am in awe...I am speechless.

As I'm learning to love my girlfriend (it isn't too hard ) I'm reading passages of scripture and other things that are aiding in my walk as follower of Christ, but also at being a better boyfriend. I won't say it's foolproof, but it sure beats sitting on my duff and just walking blindly through our relationship. Chrissy is wonderful, amazing, humorous, lovely, beautiful and Godly - (she's more attributes, but I'm saving space here). God has blessed me with a wonderful girlfriend, she is truly a gift of God in my life.

[n][v]

a week of fasting

I write my experiences not as bragging rights or claiming that I am holier-than-thou, I am far from it, I'm a broken individual, a travelling ragamuffin, a person who receives grace from God, a person who learns and relearns (a never ending process).

So I started off this week doing something I've never done before, started at 10:30 pm on Sunday and will continue on through to this Sunday at 10:30 pm.

I'm talking about Fasting

Fasting is defined in two ways;

1) To abstain from food, especially as a religious discipline.
2) To eat very little or abstain from certain foods, especially as a religious discipline.

In my case, it's the first one.

I decided before I started that I would fast for several reasons;
1) spend more time with God - in prayer
2) spend more time reading the Bible
3) be still and know I am God (Psalm 46:10) - meditation in silence
4) being...instead of doing.

and so I started...

When I started the fast, I quickly noticed how hungry I got, but as I spent time in prayer or reading the Bible, the hunger pangs were lessened. In the 20th hour of the fast, the hunger pangs hit even stronger.
It was while I was driving to my girlfriend's house, my mind wandered off to what I could eat, that is, to break my fast, yet in my mind I started thinking/making compromises;

I figure it was an attack by satan and demons (not the only one this week) and he/they were telling me it would be okay if I had crackers, and in my mind I thought yeah, just crackers and then I started thinking of what I could put on my crackers...



After all these thoughts of what I could eat, I started praying. I prayed that the attacks would end and that the pain due to a lack of eating would go away in Jesus' name and after that, the pains of hunger have ceased (even now as I type).
Now another thing that I've learned/experienced during this week of fasting is stillness; be still and know I am God - in moments where the rush of life is silenced, I've listened and tuned into God's voice; yes, God's voice is audible regardless of the rush of life, but in the stillness, the quietness...I've heard God, I've heard more than I have for a while. So what has God been saying to me? Well, he's preparing a way...a way out, actually. There have been some things God has revealed that are personal, things that cut me to the core, but there are things that hold me and give me hope for the future.

I've been meditating on this verse - Jeremiah 29: 11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. I've drawn a lot of comfort from that passage, because so often I worry about what the future holds - life, career, family of my own, success...and more, and I am learning (and relearning) to trust in Him with all things.

I will end with this; fasting for a week is one of the hardest things I've done to my body from a physical angle, but one of the best things I've done for me spiritually. Getting in tune as it were on a spiritual level has opened my eyes even more, and I know for certain this won't be the last time I fast. I am also more aware of the spiritual warfare that takes place in my life and the life of others, I am saddened and upset at the black shadows that accompany my father, the ones that tell him it is best to leave me alone and to not even talk to me, not even hello-how-was-your-day, the ones that tell him to yell at me, to treat me badly and to cut me verbally on an emotional level.

But all in all,
I'm standing on the Rock,
Though the waves of life crash all around me,
I will stand firm.

[n][v]

Wow...

What an amazing week (1/7 - 1/14) has been!
First off, on Wednesday, it became official; this girl that you see (Chrissy), we started dating.
God...God's amazing, and so is my Girlfriend.

His timing,
His ways,
amazing...simply amazing.
*sigh*
She's a wonderful person and I am truly blessed by God to know her and to date her,

I'm pretty much speechless,
but I'm sure to find the words I feel at a later time.

[n][v]

I live a very mundane life at this time, it's changing, but for now my life consists of reading, writing and blogging. I also hang out with a few friends, but at times it's just me and my books.

Oh well,
God is revealing a lot - both good and bad - in my life, and sometimes the truth cuts deep.

I'm not sure anything else needs to be said/written out at this time,
(no need to ramble on)

[n][v]