For myself personally, I like to do at least one random act of kindness per day, but also one random act of treason/social anarchy a day. Before you write me off as some crazy type of weirdo, I want you to know the acts of treason and social anarchy do NOT hurt anyone, in fact what I do is more good than bad, except for the store owners...but read on, will ya?
Well my random acts of kindness, I rather not disclose, because would they truly be random if I gave away what I did? I don't need a pat on my back for my kindness, I know that God smiles at me, that's all I need :)
When it comes to my random acts of treason/social anarchy, here's one example of what I do: If I am a grocery store and I am waiting to purchase my items, I will turn the front covers of all the magazines around so that the back cover faces out. You might ask yourself "so how is this treason/social anarchy?" Well think about the magazines that are for your purchasing "pleasure", for the most part they're enticing you with a way of life that not everyone can achieve: worldly wealth, products, a skinny body, etc. Yet it also says "that if you DON'T have this you're undesirable, you're ugly, you will not attract a significant other, you will grow old and lonely."
Now I know that women and their image can sometimes be distorted as a result of what the media says you should look like, what you should have, what your boyfriend/husband should be like...I digress, so this is why I do it, I do it primarily for the ladies! ;) But I also do it for the guys, the ones who get it locked in their minds that their S/O should look like Britney Spears, Madonna, Lady Gaga, etc.
Some guys can start saying to their S/O's "Hey, you should look like _______" and I find that demeaning to women, when the comparisons game takes place (and I do recognize this happens to both genders) and then you have two people who start loving less and start looking for that "perfect" person.
Here's the thing, the body breaks down over the years, the looks that one might have in their 20's won't be what stays around when that person is in their 70's. As many of you know, I am a follower of Christ, and here's a verse that sticks out to me in reference to inward beauty versus outward beauty;
1 Samuel 16:7
But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."
I find myself, after many years to look for someone who looks for someone who has a good heart, not too long ago I wrote out what I go for in a possible girlfriend, my top 3 were as follows; 1) Someone who loves God 2) Someone who loves others and 3) has a good sense of humor. Granted, dating someone who is not a follower of Christ is something I am open to as well, but to take it beyond dating is something I'm not too keen about, and so perhaps it's that reason why I look and pray with my eyes open in regards to relationships; to find my June, to fall in love again, to care for another individual in a way that only boyfriends/girlfriends can, to have someone I can share what I love with that person, to be real/authentic of what's really going on within my life without feeling judgement or timidity that I won't be liked by that individual any more, and I won't lie, I miss the physical aspect of being in a relationship as well.
So recognizing that looks are fleeting and yet that's what our culture sells as the "must have" for women (but also men) one of the random ways I commit a random act of treason/social anarchy without harming anyone except for those who aim to peddle such filth to the general public.
~Nathanael~
Monday, March 29, 2010
It all starts with LOVE...
So today I decided to wear my LOVE shirt that I received from one of the churches I attend, I was to be in a skit but something came up last min and I couldn't...but I still got a shirt that says love on it. 
Anyway, as I was driving to JU this afternoon, God...the Holy Spirit...a combo of the two, kinda spoke to me about the people in my life I don't actively show love to; oh sure I love a bunch of people, but sometimes due to circumstances on my part it's not an active visible thing, and that's when I started feeling God's presence in regards to a group of individuals I can share His love with in a tangible way AND perhaps patch up some of the partially destroyed bridge.
Get this, I intend and plan on going to the Gay Pride Parade in Chicago this year, June 27th I want to go withs some friends and hand out water bottles to those I come into contact with, to share with them a small token of love. I'm also thinking I'm going to bring along a "confession booth" of sorts, not for the whose who would come in to confess, but rather my friends and I taking turns at confessing and asking those who would come in for forgiveness on behalf of the church and how it has treated those who are gay, by treating them like second class citizens or worse.
I've been learning in my Integration of Psychology and Theology how the church picks on homosexuals as making it "the worst sin" or some other rhetoric as a result of perhaps excusing other behavior and yet adding to it by saying "well at least I'm not a homosexual" as if that were a better way to justify their behavior. That is wrong, morally wrong, and I intend to offer up sincere apologies for this behavior.
As I said, it all starts with LOVE; Loving one another as Jesus loved us, He was the best example of love this world has ever seen, and I intend to let his Love flow through me and out on the people I meet this year at the Gay Pride Parade.
[n][v]
Anyway, as I was driving to JU this afternoon, God...the Holy Spirit...a combo of the two, kinda spoke to me about the people in my life I don't actively show love to; oh sure I love a bunch of people, but sometimes due to circumstances on my part it's not an active visible thing, and that's when I started feeling God's presence in regards to a group of individuals I can share His love with in a tangible way AND perhaps patch up some of the partially destroyed bridge.
Get this, I intend and plan on going to the Gay Pride Parade in Chicago this year, June 27th I want to go withs some friends and hand out water bottles to those I come into contact with, to share with them a small token of love. I'm also thinking I'm going to bring along a "confession booth" of sorts, not for the whose who would come in to confess, but rather my friends and I taking turns at confessing and asking those who would come in for forgiveness on behalf of the church and how it has treated those who are gay, by treating them like second class citizens or worse.
I've been learning in my Integration of Psychology and Theology how the church picks on homosexuals as making it "the worst sin" or some other rhetoric as a result of perhaps excusing other behavior and yet adding to it by saying "well at least I'm not a homosexual" as if that were a better way to justify their behavior. That is wrong, morally wrong, and I intend to offer up sincere apologies for this behavior.
As I said, it all starts with LOVE; Loving one another as Jesus loved us, He was the best example of love this world has ever seen, and I intend to let his Love flow through me and out on the people I meet this year at the Gay Pride Parade.
[n][v]
Christian Girls are Boring*
*Boring as a result of the stereotype that represents them, to which some Christian girls act the part and/or their environment says they should be a certain way. To the Christian girls who read this, this is somewhat satirical and somewhat serious at the same time, I'm sure you know of ways to say that Christian Guys are boring under the same or similar context.
I plan on getting back into dating (building stronger relationships with a girl prior to dating) and sometimes I wonder if to avoid the stereotypical boring Christian girl, maybe I should be looking for her outside of church/related environments that couldcultivate a boring girl, but that's just me...read on, okay?
Christian girls are boring to me because the ones that fit the stereotype are a bit too consumed in some areas that I don't find desirable, but what makes a Christian girl boring? Good question, well for me it goes as follows:
1) Someone who thinks her biological clock is ticking VERY quickly; as in, a good portion of her friends are young 20something wives and moms. It costs A LOT of money to support oneself, but to bring in another life and be dependent on it is another ordeal altogether, how many can say they're financially secure right after school? I mean, unless you married someone who's an oil baron who doesn't need a spouse to work, you and the guy you're married to will BOTH need to work to support each other, bringing kids into the world while not being somewhat financially secure is bad idea in my opinion. You will have plenty of time to make some kids, don't worry, until then get on some form of birth control.
2) Someone who reads Ephesians 5:22 out of context; yes, the verse that says wives submit unto your husbands, but to just take that verse and not look at verses around it as well as the context is no bueno in my book. Yes, wives are to submit to their husbands, but the following verse shares how husbands need to submit to their wivestoo. I do know the girls who read only v. 22, and sadly I also know the guys who read v. 22 as well and expect their girlfriends or wives to submit until them...the shame of it all is that girls buy this verse.
3) Someone who views things go in two different boxes; there's the God box and then there's the box for everything else. The breakdown of separating things in terms ofsecular and sacred gets to me, everything is spiritual, all truth is God's truth. No need to complicate things and make laws that aren't of God.
4) A girl who doesn't have views she claims as her own; well my pastor said... well my mother said... This really isn't cool to me, for what truly matters to you in your life, please express it in terms of well I believe... It makes me happy when anyone states opinions that they believe in terms of I, because even if I don't agree with you, the thoughts you just let me in on, they're your own, major propage to ya!
***
In a nutshell that's why I find Christian girls boring, yet I recognize these traits can be found in Christian males as well, so I guess the fight is on equal terms.
What do you think? Are Christian Girls (and Guys) boring or not?
[n][v]
My thoughts on Romance Novels
Since I have a position now at the local library, I spend a lot of time shelving books that come in and I'm putting a lot of Romance Novels, here's a cover of one:
I have a lot of guff/issues with Romance Novels, to which it seems oxymoronic (more moronic than oxy) to even add romance to the title of the genre.
Even bringing it up to my coworker, she's with me when I say there's nothing romantic about such books, there isn't a healthy form of intimacy that is portrayed in the books and none of it is really realistic...yeah, I'm sure finding mutual attraction, a bit of wham bam thank you ma'am and you're good to go, but...hmmm...
Romance novels to me equate to emotional pornography
Romance novels will continue to be made
Romance novels will continue to sell fake intimacy/fake romance
***
I am a romantic, I like to the please the senses of the one I am with; whether that comes from cooking a homecooked meal or even just being with my SO. I believe in love and even though I've been burned by love in the past I know I will love again/be loved and fall in love, again.
Yet these books sell fake intimacy and fake romance, a flash in the pan compared to what could be a white hot flame that burns strong...tell me ladies, which would rather have?
[n][v]
Advice, Knowing when to speak and knowing when to keep silence and everything in between
Now I'm kinda an advice guy; I give it, I receive it, I hear different views on subjects that interest me, I answer Yahoo Answers time to time, but one thing I can't stand is when people offer up advice that 1) they cannot follow themselves 2) they have no experience in the thing I'm asking advice for or 3) they've been outside the realm of said question and therefore they really don't know what it's like in modern time...
This time around, it was the advice from my father who shared with me his two cents on how to procure a job. Sure, he's quite successful at what he does (but at what cost? Another question for another day) and yet my relationship to him isn't father-son, it's more business/busyness than anything else, to which to say my father and I are distant, would be an understatement, but I digress...
Anyway, his approach on procuring a job is kinda radical and kinda dysfunctional, it's not the first time he's given me work-related advice, so it's kinda old hat the things he says. Well over the Christmas holiday I got an interview with a place I've been going to for a while now, the local library if you must know, and I met with one of the nicest librarians I know, so from the getgo, and the interview went smoothly. Guess what?
I got the job! *happy dance*
but to me the victory was more I didn't follow his advice at all.
Now it might seem wrong to rejoice in not following my father's advice for procuring a job, but I went in, spoke from my mind and my heart (especially what do you want to do when you're done with school and related questions) and sold my self well to the library peoples, and I was sold and I got the job!
***
Xangamigos, so often when advice seems necessary, silence might be the better option than talking. Advice should be given, but words should be limited and sometimes silence is all that is required, simply by being there might outweigh anything said in the moment.
- If you know your shit and advice can be given, go for it.
- If you know that words will outweigh silence in importance, go for it.
- If you know the person will be more responsive to words and you have some that'll help that person, go for it.
Yet remember silence, and use it if you need to.
[n][v]
This time around, it was the advice from my father who shared with me his two cents on how to procure a job. Sure, he's quite successful at what he does (but at what cost? Another question for another day) and yet my relationship to him isn't father-son, it's more business/busyness than anything else, to which to say my father and I are distant, would be an understatement, but I digress...
Anyway, his approach on procuring a job is kinda radical and kinda dysfunctional, it's not the first time he's given me work-related advice, so it's kinda old hat the things he says. Well over the Christmas holiday I got an interview with a place I've been going to for a while now, the local library if you must know, and I met with one of the nicest librarians I know, so from the getgo, and the interview went smoothly. Guess what?
I got the job! *happy dance*
but to me the victory was more I didn't follow his advice at all.
Now it might seem wrong to rejoice in not following my father's advice for procuring a job, but I went in, spoke from my mind and my heart (especially what do you want to do when you're done with school and related questions) and sold my self well to the library peoples, and I was sold and I got the job!
***
Xangamigos, so often when advice seems necessary, silence might be the better option than talking. Advice should be given, but words should be limited and sometimes silence is all that is required, simply by being there might outweigh anything said in the moment.
- If you know your shit and advice can be given, go for it.
- If you know that words will outweigh silence in importance, go for it.
- If you know the person will be more responsive to words and you have some that'll help that person, go for it.
Yet remember silence, and use it if you need to.
[n][v]
Last night I feared for being a parent-to-be
I'm currently single, but sometimes working with kids makes me wish I already had a few of my own, but last night I feared being a parent, to which my mind "shut off" at 3am because I was thinking A LOT about it...
***
Last night I was working with one of my church's youth groups, the newly appointed youth pastor and his wife, Pam and Jim*, also brought their kids, Elle and Jay*, two cute little kids who have a lot of energy and are honorary members of the youth group. I was playing with them, mostly with Elle, engaging him with bouncing a ball to him and him handing it back to me, and then out of nowhere he makes a beeline to Jay, grabs her by her neck and throws her down. Now Elle's little himself, but he is still the older brother and is capable of doing this, so I pull him off his sister, but he comes back to her again and again to try to throw his little sister to the ground. Pam and Jim help with stopping this from happening, but I saw Jay starting to throw herself on the ground before her brother could do it. I could see the fear in her eyes, ahelp me and hold me look of desperation, I held her several times just to keep Elle from getting at her and she normally doesn't like being held by me (still a little shy around me) but she let me because I was her escape, I was her protector.
...Did I mention that Elle has autism?
***
Now I know a bit about the Autistic Spectrum Disorder, through a class calledExceptional Child, through studying ASD on my own, through reading what other Psychologists have said, through watching documentaries on those who have it or featuring those who have it... needless to say, I have a bunch of head knowledge on ASD, but am willing to learn more, for Pam and Jim, but also for me, to which (I figure) my head knowledge kept me up to 3am, my body was asleep but my mind was playing over the night's scenarios between Elle and Jay, but also what I know...and for that I developed a bit of fear as a parent-yet-to-be.
I am by no means ready to be a parent (I thought I was, but that's a closed chapter in my life, moving forward...) but I was gripped by fear last night/this morning with thoughts of what if I have a kid who has Autism? What if he (more boys than girls fall on the Autistic Spectrum) is on the lower function end of it? What if I need to keep him from grabbing a sibling by the neck and throwing him/her down on a constant basis? These thoughts threw a curveball at my intentions to get a good night sleep, alas I struck out.
***
I don't know if my kids will have Autism (Is there actually a way to see if it is genetically locked within my DNA?) but I know that as a Psychologist and a father-to-be I will have to take more classes, learn more about ASD, but ultimately love my kids unconditionally and work with them and enforce positive reinforcement and help them to get out their frustrations (to which it's hard to release some of that for kids with Autism) in a positive way. I leave it entirely in God's capable hands, and I intend to learn more -- for my sake, but also for Pam and Jim's sake, it shows on their faces that they're a bit drained by Elle, I want to help them out as their friend first but as a Psychologist second.
[n][v]
*Not their real names
***
Last night I was working with one of my church's youth groups, the newly appointed youth pastor and his wife, Pam and Jim*, also brought their kids, Elle and Jay*, two cute little kids who have a lot of energy and are honorary members of the youth group. I was playing with them, mostly with Elle, engaging him with bouncing a ball to him and him handing it back to me, and then out of nowhere he makes a beeline to Jay, grabs her by her neck and throws her down. Now Elle's little himself, but he is still the older brother and is capable of doing this, so I pull him off his sister, but he comes back to her again and again to try to throw his little sister to the ground. Pam and Jim help with stopping this from happening, but I saw Jay starting to throw herself on the ground before her brother could do it. I could see the fear in her eyes, ahelp me and hold me look of desperation, I held her several times just to keep Elle from getting at her and she normally doesn't like being held by me (still a little shy around me) but she let me because I was her escape, I was her protector.
...Did I mention that Elle has autism?
***
Now I know a bit about the Autistic Spectrum Disorder, through a class calledExceptional Child, through studying ASD on my own, through reading what other Psychologists have said, through watching documentaries on those who have it or featuring those who have it... needless to say, I have a bunch of head knowledge on ASD, but am willing to learn more, for Pam and Jim, but also for me, to which (I figure) my head knowledge kept me up to 3am, my body was asleep but my mind was playing over the night's scenarios between Elle and Jay, but also what I know...and for that I developed a bit of fear as a parent-yet-to-be.
I am by no means ready to be a parent (I thought I was, but that's a closed chapter in my life, moving forward...) but I was gripped by fear last night/this morning with thoughts of what if I have a kid who has Autism? What if he (more boys than girls fall on the Autistic Spectrum) is on the lower function end of it? What if I need to keep him from grabbing a sibling by the neck and throwing him/her down on a constant basis? These thoughts threw a curveball at my intentions to get a good night sleep, alas I struck out.
***
I don't know if my kids will have Autism (Is there actually a way to see if it is genetically locked within my DNA?) but I know that as a Psychologist and a father-to-be I will have to take more classes, learn more about ASD, but ultimately love my kids unconditionally and work with them and enforce positive reinforcement and help them to get out their frustrations (to which it's hard to release some of that for kids with Autism) in a positive way. I leave it entirely in God's capable hands, and I intend to learn more -- for my sake, but also for Pam and Jim's sake, it shows on their faces that they're a bit drained by Elle, I want to help them out as their friend first but as a Psychologist second.
[n][v]
*Not their real names