3rd Paper for Integration of Psychology and Theology

Engaging God’s World – Chapter 2: Creation
When I think about creation I reflect on some vacations I have taken and what I have seen; the woods of Wisconsin, the Pacific Ocean in Florida, the mountains of Colorado and the glaciers of Alaska to just name a few. Being in the great outdoors is where I love to be and for me it is where I connect with God the best; whether it is in the midst of pine trees tall and richly scented or among flowers that are full of color and are full of intricate design. For as much as I love the outdoors, my first love pertaining to God’s creation, His handiwork, isn’t found in nature but rather in humans.
Oh humans; skin color, eye color, hair color, ethnicity, height…and so much more, for we are all made by God, we are all Imago Dei’s (images of God) and yet we are all created differently. Granted we share traits that stem from our parents, but our strands of DNA are all our own at the same time. God in his awesome creativity of mankind hasn’t some cosmic copier that he uses to mass produce mankind, but rather like a skilled artist who knows how to utilize the palette can make so many variances of one particular subject, God the artist knows how to make us all so very different and yet so similar.
Yet in the midst of creation and even the creation story found in Genesis, there’s the seventh day, where God rested. God’s example of taking time to rest is something us humans need to observe; for as we go through our routines of life, school, work, etc. I think we forget that we were not made for these tasks but these tasks were made for us. We also need to recognize that working is a part of our lives; it probably would have been an easier existence if Adam and Eve did not sin, but that’s just speculation.
In my desire to integrate Psychology and Theology together in the area of creation I would offer those who speculate if God actually created all of this, to which I would probably get loud and boisterous and simply state to the skeptic, “Have you ever been outside?” Life is covered with the fingerprints of God, all of life points to something bigger and better, something divine and otherworldly. I’ve watched videos from the perspective of scientists (particularly Carl Sagan) and it is bittersweet to hear him talk; from one end there is his series about the cosmos (simply titled Cosmos) and you hear him talk about universes, black holes, solar systems, galaxies, etc. and it brings me to tears to hear about how vast the universe is and how it is structured, but it also brings me to tears that Carl Sagan, a very intelligent man, still speaks of the cosmos as something that just happened. Life didn’t “just happen”, it wasn’t a fluke or a cosmic oops that made everything, there was divine purpose in the creation of everything.
God created this world and everything in it, he also created the cosmos and everything it as well, and when he was done creating it he said “it is good”. God is a creator and a redeemer, though we have missed the mark, he still sent Jesus to come and live among us and then die for not only our sins but for the sins of everyone who was and is and who will be here long after we ourselves have passed away.
My desire is to reach out to others; to serve others and help people recognize the beauty in all creation, that God made all this and that it is good. Through him is life, through him is goodness, through him we can know him and his plans for us.

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2nd Paper for Integration of Psychology and Theology

Engaging God’s World – Chapter 1: Hope and Longing
Hope is a four letter word, but the possibility of what it could mean goes so much deeper; the hope for success in “the real world”, hope for doing better where previous generations have not, hope for taking the gifts God has given me and to utilize them for his kingdom – both now and when I finish my degree. These are actually things I hope for and long for.
Hope is a dream that I believe all humans dream, but dreams do not come to fruition if they’re kept in an unconscious state, the dreamer needs to wake up and act upon his dream, the dreamer needs to see his slice of hope carried out to fruition otherwise what’s the point of hoping? Plantinga states that “people yearn for a time gone by” (p. 3) but I truly wonder if they long for the hope they once had which never came about or the naiveté of thinking those times were better times. I truly believe that we should take what we remember of the past – both good and bad – and dwell on it ever so briefly, but move on to the present, move into the future. We cannot go back in time to those moments in our lives, we move linear and we have to go forward but I am fully aware that there are moments where it is hard to move on.
When it comes to hoping and longing for me as a Psychologist, it’s for that time in my life where what I have learned in my classes, learned from studying, learned from applying finally thoroughly “clicks” in my mind, the light-bulb-above-the-head moment, where what I have learned makes sense in its entirety; I understand a lot of what I know from a Psychologist’s point of view, but some I figure I will grasp when I’ve been in the field a bit more, when I’ve experienced more of life. I truly enjoy what I have been learning for the most part, which makes the Masters Degree process difficult for me, but I will deal with that once I get there, for now I have to take care of my undergrad.
As a Christian I truly hope and long for the time when I get to live out my dreams and passions in regards to my calling (Youth Ministry). I have been doing youth ministry for close to 8 years now and eventually I want to get into doing it on a fulltime basis. My plans, dreams, hopes and desires for this year (as I’m school) is to make some contacts and present myself to some Young Life clubs in the southern California area, so that maybe once I finish my undergrad I can transition quicker with doing Youth Ministry out there, youth ministry in southern California is where I’d like to be at least for a while.
The reason why I have hopes and longings is because if I didn’t I might think less and do less; why put effort in if nothing will come of it? But I know that if I have some ideas, both ones of my own but also God given ones, I can do something with my life that transcends me from where I’m at right here andright now. I also recognize that my hopes and longing don’t only pertain to me, but they are for a larger audience as well; Youth Ministry is instructing and equipping kids, but also their parental guardians, their communities, etc. There are so many people who get influenced by the message of the Gospel that it goes beyond transforming someone’s life, but rather lives.
In my pursuit of my hopes and longings I know I will get there, but for what I trust in God but I also have to have an active role and to do what’s required of me to get there, I cannot be a bystander but someone who goes the distance to make these hopes and longings a reality.

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First paper of the semester!

I like writing, a lot, and for this class I'm taking (Integration of Psychology and Christianity) I will be writing, a lot.

This is kinda filler for the time being, until I finish my Christian Girls are Boring* post, so enjoy...or not...but do! Hehe.

Nathanael Vitkus
Engaging God’s World – pages IX to XIX
Cornelius Plantinga Jr. is quick to suggest that Christian individuals have the upper hand when it comes to learning, I couldn’t agree with him more. When it comes to learning, whether on our own or in classroom settings like this one, we who are followers of Christ are able to get a better sense of God’s creations, his purpose for all this, the meaning of life, etc. God in his infinite wisdom and intelligence has designed us humans with a brain that not only control different functions within our bodies, but the capability and capacity to think.
Thinking not only in regards to our own lives, but to life as it is around us. Thinking isn’t solely based upon what we know through the lens of others, but it is also about developing our thoughts and opinions. From a personal standpoint I am not only a thinker, but a questioner; I like to pose the harder questions at times because sometimes they’re not brought up but also sometimes they need to be asked even if an answer doesn’t come to the surface. To me, questioning is not a bad thing because it not only stirs the proverbial pot but it also helps people to take their thoughts and get them out there. Sometimes questioning is the catalyst to make people think more about what they believe on the subject matter.
I recognize that through this semester this class will help me to take the concrete ideas pertaining to Psychology and what I believe as a follower of Christ that are locked away in my head and to get them out in the open. As an introspective person this is a challenge that I eagerly accept, because there are times in my life where these ideas are caged up because I am continually mulling over them as to whether I’m right or not and sometimes they don’t materialize as a result of my thought processes. Yet within this class lies my chance, my opportunity to write them out and perhaps even expound even more on my thoughts and beliefs in both Psychology as well as Christianity.
As Plantinga said; “every Christian naturally speaks the faith with his own accent” (page XV), I too wish to develop my accent this semester even more than I already have. So when situations present themselves I can be better equipped when it comes to integrating Psychology and Christianity. Not just of what I believe, but why I believe, not just for my own personal betterment, but for the betterment of others as well.
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P.S. The writing will be brief chapter summaries, quality over quantity, my thoughts on it, etc. I hope I don't make any enemies because I'm going to speak my mind...and sometimes even verbally, because the Professor wants us to share with the class 4x in the semester what we wrote.

No one talks about eating disorders pertaining to men...why is that?

(This stems from thoughts I had while getting a mandatory physical and a drug test for a job I've yet to start...)

I don't suffer from an eating disorder, but I very well could have growing up...

You see, when I was in my preadolescence I was heavier, in my adolescence I was heavier, when I was in my early 20's I was heavier...see the trend? Yes, I am 218 pounds and only 5'8, I am fat, I am overweight, but as I try to fit working out into my daily routine, I don't have the time for it now.
Now it's not that I don't care, I truly do care about my body and my health, but juggling school/life/now work...yeah, I'm sure I have the time somewhere in there, but I'm not the best at time management, getting there, but not yet.
Yet when I was younger I wanted to be fit; I was involved in a lot of athletic extra curriculars in my schooling (home school, mind you, K to 12) but I still a bit of a gut. I did have some success in keeping my weight kind of in order back when I would workout an average of 2 hours a day, I was dedicated to it but I still had some girth I [wished I] could do without.
What made it worse was that some family members pointed out my weight; hey you should stop eating as much (true I cut back some, but really? Is that being helpful?), hey you're fat (I am, thanks for pointing it out )... Yeah, I didn't need that pointed out to me, but it struck me as a double standard when I was told never to ask a woman's age or weight, don't call women fat... Now I know I'm not bombarded by media saying I should look like ________ or if I don't weigh __________ I'm not attractive, but still it affects me some when girls go for guys or guys go for girls based just around looks, how shallow! I might be heavier, but I have a good sense of humor, I know how to take care of a lady well, I am polite and I have a lot of positive attributes going for me that makes me a good boyfriend and in time, a good husband. Yet when I was younger, I did eat less because some people labelled me fat, I didn't binge and then purge, but I heard a voice in my head (negative voice) saying I shouldn't eat as much and as a result I'd finish eating dinner early, I'm full when I wasn't...

***

Now I don't know the stats when it comes to eating disorders, but I can venture a guess when I say that for females that either every girl has had an eating disorder or has known someone who has had one at one time. I wonder what can then be said about men and eating disorders, I'd hate it if we're the odd ones out, the ones swept under the rug and forgotten, because it does affect men and how they think they should look and something should be done about it.

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Against all Odds (take a look at ME now)

'Twas the night before first day of classes...

Today I went back to school after taking a year off; some of it was financial reasons and some of it was personal, but I am damn happy to be back.

Why? you might ask, well it goes like this.

When I was very little my parents talked about college, about their experiences and what a college degree can do for you! Needless to say I wanted "in" on this college thing, I didn't know what I wanted to major in but I was already being indoctrinated in the ways of I want a college degree and I won't succeed in "the real world" unless I have a degree.

Now since then I have figured out what I want to major in (good thing to do btw, especially since I'm in my Senior year ) and what I will be doing with that degree (and very possible down the road -- Master's degree) and all the things that go with it, but here lies my crux. In my 25 of living, I have met plenty of individuals who are successful in what they do, and get this, without getting a degree whatsoever! It doesn't irk me that they're doing well without, it does irk me that my mentality has been get the degree = better job, life, et al. It can make a difference in one's life, but some things override that, such as experience.

I question even now if there will ever come a time where a degree counts, but experience in whatever field is weighed as something more valuable, take for instance me and Youth Ministry; I have 7 going on 8 years of working with jr. high and high school students, para-church and inside the church, upper socioeconomic statused kids as well as lower socioeconomic statused kids, I have experienced a lot in my time and I have what it takes to get into my calling full time...but I don't have a Youth Min degree (almost did, but that's another story).

Anyway, I've been in school on again and off again for close to 7 years, and I won't rationalize why it has taken me so long but some factors include not having the money (which was the case for me not returning to school last year) and taking care of my mom as she went through chemo therapy, etc. pertaining to her breast cancer (I was her primary caretaker).

I'm excited and nervous, but ultimately determined to do what I need to do, to take all the classes (4 left! w00t!) I need and finish up strong.

And as Slim Shady sang about me; Guess who's back, back again
and the theme song from that show in the 70's; Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back
I'm back at school,
I'm back at finishing my undergrad degree in Psychology,
I'm nearing the finish line and I'm not going to slow down for anything (God willing).

I'm glad to be back, I've already had some good conversations with Professors rather than friends, but all in due time.

And where to from there?

Well I aim to make connections to people I know and some Youth Ministries out in Southern California, get connected here and then plug in once I graduate out there. That's the plan and the goal for me! But first things first, my undergrad degree, damn it's good to be back on track!

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Carl Wilkens: The last American to stay

The other night I had the opportunity to hear Carl Wilkens at one of the local homeless shelters in my hometown. Now prior to hearing him speak I didn't know much about him, the extent I knew of him at that time was what was mentioned on Facebook; an adventist pastor, a speaker and then I saw something else the only American to stay in Rwanda during the 1994 genocide (underline for emphasis).

The only American to stay in Rwanda during the genocide, one of the worst genocides of the late 20th century, I had to hear him speak. One of my NYE/NYD resolutions for this year goes as follows; To be more active -- politically; whether it's by way of writing letters to state Senators or by protesting/marching against things the government stands for but I do not, I want to step it up more than just talking politics. Well I figured that part of my NYE/NYD resolution could be partially achieved with hearing Carl speak, since I have been learning more about genocides and how our government has been involved as well as not involved, plus I didn't know that much about the genocide in Rwanda apart from brief snippets in one documentary I saw as well as the movie Hotel Rwanda.

Well I arrived there a little late and I wish I didn't, there were more people than I expected and certainly more people than they expected. I talked a little bit to a couple I know and shortly there after Carl Wilkens was introduced and then he started his presentation.

Carl Wilkens was quick to state that the Rwandan genocide and genocides of past do not occur quickly, but rather they are planned and premeditated way in advance. He mentioned that some of the people who premeditated the genocide attended a university in Toronto, to which some people are trying to figure out the classes they took et al. but they're hitting some walls because of privacy rules pertaining to students in general. The genocide inflicted upon the Tutsis by the Hutus occurred as a result of differences that they themselves did not create, but rather the Belgian/French government stated differences which was put onto the I.D's of the Rwandans which stated whether they were Hutu or Tutsi.


The sad factor of the genocide was that there was a presence of foreigners; Carl expressed that the genocide probably could have been avoided by way of Americans and others just being there, he said that presence (and not a military presence) could have been the deciding factor whether that genocide occurred or not. Another factor to outside help that could have prevented this genocide was by simply standing up (metaphorically) and stating that no, we as a group of people will not let this happen, we will stop it...but it never did happen, there wasn't help from outside countries, but rather the UN and troops from outside governments came in to take out those who were foreigners to begin with, not to deal with the growing tension of the Hutus to the Tutsis.
As a result of what was done as well as what wasn't done, 800,000 people died in 100 days (the length of the genocide). As I listened to what Carl had to say, my heart was filled with pain as to what wasn't done by outside countries (especially the American government), but also just the sheer hatred among groups of people.

***

I don't know how the 21st century will be perceived, I don't know if the next 100 years will top the prior 100 years as being the bloodiest, but I will do my part to make it better. I am only one person, but it takes people like me and people like you to make this world a better place, not just for those you love and hate but also for those I love and hate. Genocide's stem from thinking that the world would be better without (insert group of people here), as an individual I aim to keep from thinking that and encouraging others not to think that way, to embrace difference no matter how different it is.

This is what I learned in more detail from Carl Wilkens, I'm glad he came to speak.

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Her presence is known...by the evil one.

As some of you know, my sister Hannah left for a missions trip today. She will be visiting 11 countries in the next 11 months, the countries she will be going to are as follows:

January: New Zealand
February: Australia
March: Malaysia
April: Thailand
May: Cambodia
June: Kenya
July: Uganda
August: ATL (Ask the Lord) in Africa
September: Romania
October: Ukraine
November: ATL in Eastern Europe

It was revealed to me in a dream last night that he, Satan, also knows of her plans.

***

I was recalling my day spent with my sisters in an unconscious state when my dream was paused and a voice interrupted me. Excuse me a dark voice said to me but I need to let you know something, it's up to you if you choose to tell her or not the voice said. My master knows of your sister's trip and he is going to do what he can to destroy her spiritually. We know she can handle the physical labor required of her on this trip, but we are going to do what we can in our power to damage her spiritually. This spokesdemon portrayed ways in which they are going to try to go after my sister, in ways that are environmental, in ways that are personal, and other ways as well.

I do admit that I have interacted with spiritual warfare in a more physical way than others, ultimately the presence of darker darkness and pure evil is what I feel, I have never felt the presence of Satan or demons to be good or welcoming, it is always dark and foul.
Yet with this visit last night I know they are planning a [spiritual] attack on someone I care for deeply, while my sister is a follower of Christ, I know she hasn't had many encounters with spiritual warfare...but I will be vigilant and pray for her spiritual welfare on this missions trip, Satan is going to after her with all he has, his power is limited but by no means will evil conquer good, my sister might slip and she might fall, but I know that with God's strength to protect her she will get up time and time again.

1 Peter 5:8
Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

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Giving Thanks: Life (part of my story)

For this part of my giving thanks stories, I am going to reveal part of my story, now it's not the best as far as experience, but my circumstances put me into that mode and it is part of my story, so please...judge not, eh?

I am thankful to God for life, but maybe 10 years ago it wasn't so.

My parents don't have the ideal marriage and it was very visible for myself and my sisters 3 growing up. Work played a higher priority in my father's life (still does) than us his family, and so this and other things took a toll on our family dynamic.
I, the only guy in the family, surrounded by 3 sisters and my mom, made life difficult for me and I became (and was) the "wild child". Some of it stemmed from my mom taking on both parental roles, some of it was from watching how my father treated her and some of it was of my own doing. Anyway, I wasn't a good son growing up to my mom.

But within my trouble I inflicted upon my mom, I was also troubling myself; I was depressed, lonely (though it didn't seem like it) and sad (it didn't seem like it either). So I guess it was around 8 years ago that I tried to commit suicide for the first time.

I rummaged the medicine cabinet for all the pills I could find, I reckon I popped 70-80 specific health condition pills before I decided to call it a night, call it a life. Yet I woke up the next morning with a very bad stomach ache/hangover kinda feel, but I was alive.

The second time I tried to commit suicide I got out a razor blade and I intended to slit my wrists, but my conscious started speaking to me; Do you really want to kill yourself? Do you want one of your sisters to find you in a puddle of your own blood? You'll hurt your family more than you will ever hurt yourself if you go through with this. I dropped the razor blade and backed away from it to go to my room and just cry, I knew I couldn't go through with it but life still sucked.
In the time to come I became involved with the youth group of the church I attended, the youth pastor was new to his vocation, but still able to see through some of the facades I would wear around church.
He spent time with me, no, let me rephrase that, he invested time in me and asked the questions no one else would; whether peers or adults who had known me for a LONG time, I guess they thought everything was fine in my life, our family was considered the ideal family (but this was a life). My youth pastor helped me out, by providing me with council and helping me in my spiritual development, I got involved with the leadership team and I was loving it all.
Tragically my youth pastor and his wife left shortly into my Senior year of high school, no one will give me a definitive answer to why they left, but I am certain it was church politics and his "radical" approach to things -- nothing bad, but sometimes when you make waves in the church, the higher ups take such waves and treat them like tsunamis.
Yet what Dave instilled in my life did not necessarily require for them to be there, while it was sad to see them go, the changes God produced and they nurtured were able to continue even with them no longer in the picture.

It was also about that time that I felt my calling to Youth Ministry; knowing that I could relate to other kids and be relevant to them and have a good time among other things, I started on my road as a youth minister.
When I finished high school I found out that there was a new youth minister at my old church who needed help with the Jr. Highers. I shared with the leaders who took over for Dave if they'd like me to stay at our church and help them out, my loyalties were with my church first, but they gave me their blessing and said go for it at my old church.

So in 2003 I started youth ministry and it has been an awesome and sometimes painful road, but I don't regret any of it (well, besides breaking down a cabin door on my first Winter Retreat as a leader...but that's another story). I thank God for all the kids I have gotten to know over the years and for those I remain in contact with (my kids as I call them, I have seen them go on to do great things, we're all works-in-progress though ).

So for the time being I help out with one of my church's youth groups, I am a youth ministry consultant to another, and then there's a bicycle repair program I'm involved with and I am also part of a mentoring program at my other church.
My goal is to move out to Southern California when I am done with my undergrad degree next year, I know some people out there and I want to give California a try for a while, doing more of the same that I am doing here and hopefully it'll be full time youth ministry.

So that's a part of who I am, a part of my story. Have any questions? feel free to message me or if you want to email me my email address is NPVitkus@gmail.com I'd love to answer your question[s] if I can.

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How much of this is believable?

I don't buy into billions of years that it supposedly took to create the universe,
but when it comes to billions of stars/suns/solar systems...how much of that is truly believable?

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Giving Thanks: Family

Family; for me it is a big part of who I am and who I am becoming, though my family dynamic might look different than yours (which is true for anyone and who they define as family).

Family for me is my sisters 3 and myself. Sure I have a father and a mom, but because of different circumstances I no longer (at this point) consider us 6 a family. We 4 are getting to the point in our lives that we're moving out and away from our hometown in Illinois; some of us are away because of school and some have relocated elsewhere, I myself will be moving out to Southern California (God willing).

My sisters and I grew up in a house where we were very close proximity wise but maybe not as friends let along siblings. Each of us dabbled into each other's creative space, whether sports/music/writing/art, but we all reigned (and still do) in various areas.
It was easier to get along with some of my sisters than others, but I think at this chapter in our lives we all get along fine, different in some ways, but it all works out well.

While we are moving apart distance-wise, we are still in touch via phone/facebook/etc. I am glad we're still in touch because there are times where life just gets me down and sometimes it helps to talk it out with people who are closer than my friends, my family.  We're already making plans for when my youngest sister is in her senior year of college; 7-9 days in the Bahamas on a cruiseboat. We've already laid down the groundwork for it; we are doing this adventure ALONE, without parental units, without spouses (if any of us have them), just us 4, just us family.

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