I enjoyed my time at my church, many of my peeps that I worked with still attend there and I still am pursuing Youth Ministry with several of the high schoolers. The people I got to know, the people I still fellowship with will always be a part of who I am. It's not the barrel of rotten apples that made me switch (tho it did have a part), I'm changing and I need to be fed and feed others...which isn't really happening except with the above people mentioned.
It's not the first time I have left the church of my youth; I left in my high school years because I was still in the feed me/serve me mode so often followers of Christ go through. I left for a local church where I knew a great deal of people (I guess an upside to being homeschooled), but as I got involved with that church, I also got plugged into their high school youth group. The youth pastor of that church was very instrumental in my life, we didn't just chill on Sunday mornings and night, but also a few times in the week (communal based ministry is what I'm about even to this day).
When I finished my high school years, I had a gleam in my eyes and a fire in my heart (thankfully it hasn't left): I also knew what I wanted to do with my life and that was to be a youth minister (tho I'm not sure what setting -- God's presented several opportunities). I talked to my high school leaders and youth pastor, telling them I'll stay here or I'll return to the church I attended prior to attending this church. They gave me their blessing and I returned to my original church, in which I met and got invited to work along side the new youth pastor of the middle school group (talk about God's timing and not my own), and so I started my first leg of youth ministry...that was 6 years ago.
In the last 6 years I have connected with many middle schoolers and high schoolers, some of them more than others but an overall good experience. Yet I have fallen into a pit that some youth ministers get themselves into and that's spiritually feeding others but not themselves. My small flock (for which I don't care about the numbers game) has comprised of some of the most awesome high schoolers anyone could get to know, I have been there for them in good times and bad times, times where life takes unknown turns, I've been there for them and it's been good.
I don't write this to puff me up, I'm not egotistical, I'm just stating that I've been able to provide a pretty decent communal/relational youth ministry on my own
...
Back to feeding others but not myself; as much as I've tried to plug into my former church with their 20somethings/college student groups, I tried to connect with people my own age at my church, but there was/is a divide between my lifestyle and theirs. I am not a latte sipping, young upcoming professional (yuppie). I share many of the same responsibilities as they do, but the differences add up and I need something more similar to help me grow as a follower of Christ.
It also doesn't help that for a while when I was engaged, the lecherous Pharisees of my church started spreading the news of the woman I was engaged to. Oh did you hear she has two kids and she's not even married! This is true, the woman I was engaged to has two kids, so evidently she has had sex, but did that stop me from loving her and her sons? NO! But the people who pat their own backs, who smile fakely and are some of the worst people I have encountered in my life had a heyday and for what was said and done, only God can forgive them because I my heart is hardened to them and I will NOT forgive them.
It also doesn't help that when my father and mom were still together that some advice and so-called "help" they received was absolutely horrendous. I am certain that the advice that passed on to my mom was something along the lines of the man is the head of the house and he alone is the one in control, something about WASP paternal hiarchy spins my head, um...equality for both husband AND wife? I like that idea more.
So for lack of help for my parents (as a couple and as individuals), 20somethings that are from a part a different lifestyle than I and for people who are Pharisees and cannot mind their own business...I've left my church.
The church I currently attend...a small slice of what God intended, I don't say that because I'm the new guy, but the church is essentially along the lines of how Christians and nonbelievers were meant to worship together, if you're ever in my area on a Sunday I'll invite you and we'll go :D
I still am working with high schoolers from my former church, most of them are going off to college and other, but I still have a foot in the door and I will continue on working there. God has made me relevant to youth, I'm still a young guy who's immersed in culture, I know some of these things that goes over older people's heads.
Thank God for past experiences,
Thank God for the experiences of now!
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