Looking back at 2006, looking forward to 2007...

Billy Corgan - All Things Change

(first off, this is being done now instead of tomorrow, because I want to spend the last day of the year offline)

It (the song above) doesn't capture this year for me, but truly... This has been a year in which a lot (not all) of things have changed. Where do I start with what was and what changed? I don't know...hmmm....

First change,
I'd say my heart and my mind; educationally...Yeah, my knowledge has increased in that area in some ways, but most of what's been changing heart and mind wise is deeper, and more rooted in friends and family, others...Not so much of myself.
An example of how heart+mind has changed is that I am working at giving credit where credits due, too often I will thank a person, but I leave it at that, I need to go beyond that.

Another change:
I more open to constructive criticism; when done for the right reason in a right context, I may be hesitant at first, but I can handle it now.

Another change:
Maybe not the best of changes, but it comes down to this; if something happens to my friend who is very dear to me, I will step up in protesting the war. I am anti war to begin with, but if my friend goes I will do more than say I am antiwar; I will protest, I will write letters, I will do all I can from a legal perspective in protesting the war... And hopefully my nightmare doesn't come true...

Another change:
Styles of prayer, styles of worship, etc. I've been learning on my own, but also through some friends and whatnot. I'm not tied down in a denominational sense, I want to expand my horizons with different styles to bring honor and glory to God, because there are moments in my walk that I'd like to add to what I'm currently doing, even tho it's about being, not doing...

As far as I am concerned about New Year's Resolutions, I'm not a big fan of them, but I do have some goals I'd like to get done in '07:
*Continue writing, but perhaps a book (nothing too over-the-top)
**Being more immersed in Youth Ministry; hanging out more with the students AND leaders, building on the relationships I already have.
***Work on complimenting people and forgiving people (completely): So often I thank people for what they do, but I'm not a complimenter as it were, and I'd like to compliment people where it's due. Forgiving people completely: there have been times where I have forgiven people, but not thoroughly - a part of the pain remains and it cuts me and poisons me at times. So I want to work at forgiving people completely.

Happy 2007!
[n][v]

Merry Christmas Y'all

May God bless you and yours on this Christmas day! :)

Pursuing God's will in my life

I want God's will in my life, more than that I desire his will as mine. As I sit here, I ponder the life I have led; I have been a Christian for 17 years, and a follower of Christ for about 7, but God is constantly changing me.
I have dreams to go out and share the Gospel message in a relational setting to places where my life may be taken away from me, in which I am unfazed by death for what I believe or death for that matter; I do love living and being with those I love, but I've recognized (without much fear) that life is short and death is a part of life.
Then there's the part of me that would very much like to pursue Youth Ministry for a career, for a great deal of time, etc. Not that I wouldn't mind this, granted I am pursuing Youth Ministry as a degree (and I certainly will graduate with this as a degree) and I will continue on being involved with Young Life, but a part of me feels called to go where His word is not accepted, where He is something illegal, but it comes down to this:

I desire God's will above mine

So what does that mean I'll end up? I don't know, but I do know that where I'll go, He'll be there and when I get there myself, I know all will be in control. Because I've come to realize (not the hard way) that one cannot run away from God, one cannot run away from the Hound of Heaven.

His will!
not mine.

[n][v]

This song sticks to me; whenever I hear it, when ever I think of it, and when ever I talk to my Father in Heaven... Enjoy!

When Worlds Collide

Stay my love
Here in my arms
Let me say
I love you

Then sleep a while
Dream your dreams
Soon I will take you far away
From where the night threatens the day and

Worlds collide
I'm on your side
When worlds collide
I'm on your side

See my face
Hear my voice
I am real
And you are mine

When shadows fall
When lovers mourn
And you fight your darkest tendencies
I promise to hold you close to me when

Until we're together, beyond other worlds
And you're free from the pain and fear
I'll place this light in your heart
If you'll keep it burning
While this world is turning,
Soon it will banish the dark
[Daniel Amos]

How I cling to my Father,
How I desire to make His ways my ways...
It's such an ongoing process,
and I am learning to trust him 100 percent.

[n][v]