Yes I might be a bit more liberal than you, so what?

I was originally thinking of calling this something similar to "No, I'm not as conservative as you think I am" but that paints conservatives in the negative, to which I don't have a problem with y'all (but there ARE some conservatives I have problems with...read on)

Disclaimer: this might piss of some of you homeschoolers that know my family and me, you might say "isn't that Phil and Nancy's son and wasn't he homeschooled?" Yes, it is I, Nathanael, and yes I was homeschooled from K-12, but I have changed some views of my homeschooled days since I've been to College AND started thinking for myself.

I was talking to a friend of mine earlier and we were discussing one of those "hot buttons" that exists within our culture, especially among Christians. Now I won't get into it because I know a lot of you won't see eye-to-eye on it and instead of discussing it like civilized human beings some of you are going to raise hell and act like little children. Anyway, my friend realized and exclaimed "wow you are more liberal" to me, not in a bad way, but just in a way to say "hey, you're thinking for yourself, you're a winner" or something close.

See, that's where my guff lies with some people, it's not in reference to whether you're conservative, liberal or somewhere in the middle, it's that these views aren't yours, they're someones elses. Now I'm fine with conservatives, liberals, middle peeps, etc. but when I hear you open your mouth and say something similar to "Well my Mom says or well my Dad says..." it just floors me, haven't you a mind? (yes) haven't you a heart? (I hope so) So come out and state views from YOUR perspective, no need to ride on the coattails of your parents anymore.
So if you say "well I am a conservative/liberal/etc. because ________ and __________" and these things you share with me are from your perspective, bravo! I am happy that you have opinions that are your own, more power to you.

Now another issue I might face with some of you might be wrapped around Christianity; saying “Well God won’t ___________” or “God doesn’t love ___________” and I’m going to hell in a hand basket because I’m a bit more liberal than you, so what? Since when do you know the mind and heart of God COMPLETELY to the extent that you think God doesn’t like the same stuff you do, Anne Lamott said something in this vein of thought; “You can safely assume that you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do.” Ouch fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, doesn’t that sting you, at least a little bit?

Now lastly if you're reading this over and just nodding your head in disagreement, okay, let's discuss this like adults...but if you're reading and nodding your head AND questioning whether I am a follower of Christ, I just gotta say God loves you even if I do not. Because seriously, we are not called to be Cookie Cutter Christians! We all have different thoughts, ideas, backgrounds and so much more that makes us an odd family (yup, putting the FUN in dysfunctional at times). There are some things that remain the same, to my brothers and sisters, John 14:6.
But don't question my salvation based upon my liberal stances, you don't see me judging and poking and prodding you over some difference from my own, now do you?

Love God, Love Others, nothing else matters.

I might be more liberal than you, so what? "nothing else matters" as I said above.

Think and make your opinions from what YOU believe, don't ride coattails, okay? :)

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Dreams and Dreaming

I am a dreamer, both in semi-unconscious states when I am in my bed and when I am awake. Dreams propel me to plan and do better things; to work and invest in the lives of others, to beat the vicious generational curse within my family, etc.

But I also have bad dreams (I guess they'd be called nightmares instead, eh?)

Dreams that wake me up in a cold sweat and tears in my eyes,
it's because of such dreams that woke me up at 5:45 this morning.

I dreamt that I was in my younger naive youth. I was riding shotgun with my father to a social outing for fathers and sons only, he was talking to me about the different things we would do; play baseball, go fishing, etc. I was so happy, but then he abruptly pulled to the shoulder of the road. He got out of the vehicle and grabbed me and dropped me in a garbage can! All the while telling me that he was coming back, he closed the lid on my head and drove off with no intention of coming back.

Damn, this dream was fucking horrible and quite an allegory to my own life; having promises made and broken by my father, him saying he'd be back and yet he never did.

I hate it so fucking much, to be discarded like if I were trash, God knows it has happened in my life and it still does. Being in the same house as my father doesn't do me any good and I am trying to get to that point where I can move out on my own.

God, I am tired of being discarded by my own father. I hate that I fruitlessly try to get him to look at me and what I am capable of, to have him acknowledge me and affirm me. It isn't happening and it might never happen, help me to move on and apart from him, even with me still being here.

I'm hurt.

I'm broken.

I'm in fucking pain because of him. Help me Father God, I need you to go and move on.

Bring restoration to my life.

Help me to never become like him, I honestly can't think of any traits I can say that are positive.

I need you in my life to sustain me. I need you in my life so that I can dream and take those dreams and make them a reality.

All these things I lay at your feet including me.

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War is NOT Sexy

I've been thinking this over in my head (I'm introspective) and I think instead of saying "Give peace a chance" or "I support the troops but not the war" I think I will say War is not SEXY.

Think about it, so much of our society is based upon sex and sexiness; we use it in our commercials, we say "look like this and you too can be sexy", etc. The advertisment world knows that Sex Sells, so I think that if we portray this war out to be NOT sexy (I never thought it had sex appeal from the getgo), maybe our sex driven culture will think about it and we can end the unjust wars we fight!

Just a thought...:) *wishful thinking*
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