As this semester comes to an end, I have come to the realization that parts of me wants to have justice where there is none- I want people to act their age and do what is assigned to them... It is frustrating to take on my load and expect people to be at the same bar as I carry myself.
Life is not fair, and I am becoming a bit hardheaded and obstinate, but I am starting to grasp that people will not always do the right thing. I am realizing that and in a fury of self-righteousness, I am letting go. Letting go of the things that people do (but more they don't do) and so I am stating with no remorse... Oh well, if they don't do it, tough for them- It is a bad attitude, I know, but I cannot carry people through life on my coattails, I am not obliged to expect them to do what they don't do, it will be their own fault...
If you would, just pray for me: I am becoming indignant and centered upon myself... I will give people a hand, but not a hand up- The roommates would cop me out on some of my foibles and how I am not a organized/tidy person, I admit to be somewhat sloppy, but I really need to stop looking at the speck in other people's eyes and remove the plank from my own...
Feeling...I don't know what I feel,
[n][v]
1 comments:
It seems like there's so much that you've got to take on, for Christ, when you're young (chronologically), and as long as you allow yourself to continue being exposed to the Word of God and open to the Holy Spirit, you will always find yourself being convicted of sin on and off throughout the rest of your life. Aargh! The flesh, how I hate that built in law of failure! But, beloved brother (and I'm not being Christianly rhetorical, I mean it), rejoice when you are corrected by the Word of God, by your conscience, even by another brother or sister. Rejoice, because you have ears to hear and eyes to see. You are the person Christ was addressing in his parables, and as long as you can still have those anointed ears and eyes, there is not only reason to hope, but positively, reason to rejoice!
God is good, he is the only lover of mankind, and he loved us so much that he not only came to dwell among us in Jesus Christ, to voluntarily suffer and die for us, but he emptied himself to assume the condition of a slave for us.
If he's gone to all that trouble, nothing, I mean NOTHING, can ever separate us from him, except maybe ourselves, if we take our hand out of his and say, "I just can't go on, I'm tired of all this BS, etc."
Remember Cipher in "The Matrix"? That could be anyone of us if we don't hang on to our first love to the end.
Hey, but you know, I'm not even commenting on what you said about yourself, 'cause I believe in you as a disciple, and I rejoice that you have these thoughts and feelings as the Lord draws you more and more into his life without end. I mostly am commenting about myself, who have served him as an unworthy servant since I received the call at the age of 24, and looking back seeing how many opportunities to love and serve him in his people that I have missed or wasted.
I only want to tell you again, rejoice, because you have the opportunity to live with Christ the life of heaven on earth, if you heed his gracious call, live a repenting life ("till by turning, turning, we come 'round right"), love your brothers and serve them, covering their offenses as the Lord has covered yours. God is good. Give him thanks and praises.
Post a Comment