The spiritual world is beating loudly in my ears, it is not a two dimensional world, but it is one that is active in the life in all saints and sinners (though we're all in the latter category). How it strains against my heart sometimes, how it pulsates with the tension of good versus evil, God versus satan... As always, satan is trying to break me from spiritual limb from limb, I feel the pain in a spiritual way, but in a physical way as well.

This old body of mine is tired, it wants sleep and yet it does not come. It is time for change from within that will flow outward...I can feel God moving; not only does God move, but he changes things for the better.

I am reminded of the hymn It is well with my soul by Horatio G. Spafford in which this is why he wrote it...

"This hymn was writ­ten af­ter two ma­jor trau­mas in Spaf­ford’s life. The first was the great Chi­ca­go Fire of Oc­to­ber 1871, which ru­ined him fi­nan­cial­ly (he had been a weal­thy bus­i­ness­man). Short­ly af­ter, while cross­ing the At­lan­tic, all four of Spaf­ford’s daugh­ters died in a col­li­sion with an­o­ther ship. Spaf­ford’s wife Anna sur­vived and sent him the now fa­mous tel­e­gram, “Saved alone.” Sev­er­al weeks lat­er, as Spaf­ford’s own ship passed near the spot where his daugh­ters died, the Ho­ly Spir­it in­spired these words. They speak to the eter­nal hope that all be­liev­ers have, no mat­ter what pain and grief be­fall them on earth."

Triumph in the midst of tragedy and yet it is well, it is well, with my soul.

Such has been my life,
my spiritual life has also been on this up and down path for quite some time now, but still...God is still in control, and I can say that it is well with my soul albeit at times it is sung quietly and not outloud.

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