I have an unnamed phobia (maybe)

it's not that I mean to, but I do.

I sometimes (in social settings) depart from the crowds without saying goodbye or see-ya-later to anyone...am I alone in doing this? I don't know where it stems, but I do know the hardest goodbye was the day my fiancee broke up with me, choking on tears as I made my way to her house, choking back the tears as I played with the boys who I called

my sons for the last time, choking on the tears as I left and she closed the door.

She closed the door on what was US, she closed the door on me being a dad, and so much more.

I am over her, I am capable and ready to love and be loved again...

Yet my settings, hmmm...

I could easily pick up a girl for a one night stand or a physical fling, yet I want neither.

I could meet your stereotypical Christian girl in one of the churches I attend or become a regular at a bar and strike up conversations with the ladies around me, but I want neither.

So I will keep on praying with my eyes open, looking for my June, looking for love in right places, not good-enough places.

*sorry for the sidetrack*

Anyways, I do seem to leave without saying goodbye, I don't know where this stems from and I don't know how to break this..any suggestions?

~Nathanael