Nostalgia can be a pain in the ass sometimes...

The other day I decided to go traipsing in my neighborhood down by the tracks, with my headphones on with Thousand Foot Krutch and Mute Math's new tunes blaring, I was having a pretty good time.

I like walking along the tracks, which are rarely used at all and even rarer are they used on the weekend, it's an interesting way to get around. Anyway, I was just minding my own business when I decided to cut back to my house. From the tracks to where I was and to the way back to my house wasn't far, but on my way back to my house I did notice something that brought back memories:








"Free Concord Grapes", 6 boxes full of this delicious fruit, free for the taking...good times. After I sampled a bunch or two, nostaligia kicked in and it kicked my ass.

At the house I lived at before the one I'm at now we used to have a sizeable backyard for us 4 kids to have fun in, and at the end of our backyard was, you guessed it, concord grape vines and grapes. Whether it was just running back and forth, picking pussywillow buds in the spring, playing in the sandbox, drinking alcohol with one of my sisters...all these memories and more came flooding back to me.

I miss my old house, but actually I miss my younger self; when I was naive to what was happening to my family, when I was full of childlike wonder and mystery, when my grandfather Eddy whom I still miss was alive... It was also in that time a lot of shit hit the fan that was unbeknownst to me, a lot of bad occurred and I was unaware of it all, I guess I was too young to actually grasp what was happening in and to my family.
I DO thank God for all the memories I have been able to retain over the years, who knows I might take on the role of the family historian someday (I do love history).
Nostalgia's a pain in the ass because how memories work; we don't have single memories, so much of what we remember is tied to some other memory which is tied to another memory and soforth...

All this to say that I am glad for the times God gave me back then and the times he's giving me now, but sometimes I just wish I could retain the good without the bad.

[n][v]

P.S. I was looking up the origin of the word "Nostalgia" and it is a word that actually comes from a Greek and Homeric compounded word. There's nóstos which means returning home and álgos which refers to pain or ache, so Nostalgia's the ache or pain of returning home. Just a little tidbit on that word's origin, I dig it.