In all things, have a Plan B*
This has been an internal mantra of sorts, whether work or where I will move out to once I'm done with school, I have a Plan B...for most things. I did make it a faulty clause that isn't so faulty by saying that out of the things I never have a back up aka Plan B for is LOVE.
Yes, the girl I was with, Cassie...broke up with me :( It's stuff in her life, a really complicated mess (the things, not her life). She knows what she has to and how she'll get there, it's just a case of time in her life. Everything I said was true, my love for her was real and was for her and her alone...never did I have a girl to the side or 'that girl' to fall back upon in case Cassie and I didn't work out.
Love opens you to a lot of good and a lot of bad, you have to take both, there's no separating how you love and what comes with love. Cassie was someone who found out about the real me and the shit I have to go through on a daily basis and also what my family dynamic is really like. I thought she would have left me that day and never spoke to me again...but honestly and earnestly she grew close to me, we fell in love...and now...49 days after I asked her out, she broke up with me. I am hurt, I admit it, but I am glad we still can talk and discuss things and yet I am brokenhearted all the while.
She said Love is seeing an imperfect person perfectly and I could say that I saw Cassie in that light too, it's just a shame that it was a relationship that lasted only 49 days. 49 days doth not make a relationship...She didn't want to have a short unreal relationship, sadly we did.
***
In all this, I never had a Plan B. Love should never have a Plan B.
***
I'm thinking once again what I am going to do when I get out of here aka graduate ;)
I think I might go back to my thoughts about moving to SoCal, mainly because it is a nice warm environment but selfishly...selfishly because no one knows my name, no one knows me, staying here right now is a drag. Cassie's a local girl, so I'm sure I would see her a lot if I stayed in my area, and I don't mind seeing her and hanging out with her, but I might be resorting to what I do when I get burned by individuals or some other setting; I never return, never. I hope I'm not going back to how I did things, but right now I don't know...I just don't know what I am going to do.
[n][v]
2 comments:
Dude, get over it. Bloody christ, you don't have it that bad with her. She still talks to you obviously, and you talk to her a lot.
Lemme tell you a story. BTW, I'm her ex, the one you met at pizza hut. /shrug
Now, when Cassie and I were together... That was more than 49 days good sir. That was more along the lines of 4 months. Now, when we split up, she moved on to another Adam, whom she got engaged to. Yeah, it sucked, w/e. I got over it. You aren't some old hag that can't go find someone else, so put on your big boy undies, and head to your local bar or something.
Your constant emo-ness makes my girlfriend look like a fucking cheer leader.
Yes, some of us don't get the relationship we want out of what was presented, but shit happens.
tl;dr
Either quit being emo, or start the cutting, because if you plan on being like this, plan on it for the rest of your life.
<3
harsh, Adam. It's hard to tell if your words were meant to encourage & motivate, or just to get your own frustration out. either way, I say to the writer, be who you are. Life is too short to lie to yourself and hide things. I appreciate your honesty, even if some may conceive it as 'emoness'.
pssshh.
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