I'm ready...but I don't want to die...

Lately I've been talking to God about death,
I used to be very dark and depressed because life, well, sucked [worse that it does now in some ways] and the poems I wrote in that chapter of my life remind me of how horrible I was, like Job, cursed the day I was born and things like it would have been better if I was never born in the first place. As I talk to God, I thank him for my life, my girlfriend, my fam, my job, those I minister unto and the ministries I'm involved with, etc. As I talk to my Heavenly Father, I let Him know that while I am ready to die (whenever that might be), I'm not ready because I love life more than I used to.
There's this song -- Reliant K -Deathbed -- that sums up a man's existence (free to download, it's a little over 11 minutes long) and his struggles with life, family and other things that make quite a good song, but the clincher is that he too talks to God about death! He becomes a follower of Christ later on in his life, and he's dumbfounded that after all he had done in his life, that God would be so loving and forgiving. This song is definitely one I've overplayed, and it has given me some solace as I continue on living and eventually getting to the end...which in itself is a beginning!
For me, I'm glad to be alive, but when my time here on earth, I'm (almost) ready...

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