Is "Putting Up" with someone healthy?

Last night I was was watching my sister play indoor with my mom, we got to casually talking and she told me how she spent some time with *Pam earlier in the day. Now Pam is someone my mom has known a long while, but the friendship (or so my says it is) has always been give-and-take; my mom gives and Pam takes, there's no sharing, plus Pam has a few kids I've worked with in the context of Youth Ministry, they might have grown up and started a life of their own, but we keep in touch...
Anyway, I hate and rarely call women this, but Pam's a real bitch to my mom. EVERYthing has to be run by Pam, while my mom can suggest things, that's as far as it gets, suggestions. My mom is smart, educated, but those she chooses to call her friends sometimes boggles my mind, because for most of us we have friends who are more like us than those who are different, and yet Pam is WAY different than my mom... To some degree she has attributes that remind me of my father, perhaps that's another reason why I don't like her so much.

Anyway, we started talking about her time with Pam and she mentioned to me that this is the first time they hung out in 3 months, and then she says Pam is my best friend...

 *jaw drop*

So Mom I ask her You haven't hung out with her in 3 months and you still consider her your best friend? Yes I do. I was absolutely perplexed at my mom's statement, and in some ways I still am.

Thing is, I don't have a best friend (I did, but she broke my heart and ended our engagement, but that's another story), I do have a good friends who are very similar to me; we're social justice minded, we're not in it for the money, we're in it to serve God by serving others, we also like to discuss Theology over a pint or two of beer (hence my love for Guinness).
One of these good friends of mine I work with in the context of Youth Ministry at one of the churches I attend, I see him 2-3 times a week! The lines of communication are very open, it also helps that I've known this guy for 14 years. Time and trust has forged a great friendship, if he was here I'd let y'all know about Ben even moreso.

***

After the soccer game I was driving my sister and I back home, we started talking about the game and then I transitioned into talking about mom and Pam and how she puts up with her and still labels her best friend. My sister shared how she finds this very possible, how she and her best friend only hang out 30-40 minutes a week, how they don't always see eye-to-eye, she too puts up with her friend and it works out well according to my sister.

I can't help but think that putting up with someone's little foibles, as long as they're not endangering themselves, someone else and myself, okay I can put up with that. Yet how far is too far with putting up with someone? I mean, if I were dating someone who was a drug user, I wouldn't gloss over their drug use or put up with it, I would help them out where I could.

***

So maybe this is a gender thing, maybe us guys aren't too keen of putting up with more than the little things, but I really don't know -- this is where you the reader, if you're still here, can add your 2 cents to this.

[n][v]

*not her real name