So I started off this week doing something I've never done before, started at 10:30 pm on Sunday and will continue on through to this Sunday at 10:30 pm.
I'm talking about Fasting
Fasting is defined in two ways;
1) To abstain from food, especially as a religious discipline.
2) To eat very little or abstain from certain foods, especially as a religious discipline.
In my case, it's the first one.
I decided before I started that I would fast for several reasons;
1) spend more time with God - in prayer
2) spend more time reading the Bible
3) be still and know I am God (Psalm 46:10) - meditation in silence
4) being...instead of doing.
and so I started...
When I started the fast, I quickly noticed how hungry I got, but as I spent time in prayer or reading the Bible, the hunger pangs were lessened. In the 20th hour of the fast, the hunger pangs hit even stronger.
It was while I was driving to my girlfriend's house, my mind wandered off to what I could eat, that is, to break my fast, yet in my mind I started thinking/making compromises;
I figure it was an attack by satan and demons (not the only one this week) and he/they were telling me it would be okay if I had crackers, and in my mind I thought yeah, just crackers and then I started thinking of what I could put on my crackers...
After all these thoughts of what I could eat, I started praying. I prayed that the attacks would end and that the pain due to a lack of eating would go away in Jesus' name and after that, the pains of hunger have ceased (even now as I type).
Now another thing that I've learned/experienced during this week of fasting is stillness; be still and know I am God - in moments where the rush of life is silenced, I've listened and tuned into God's voice; yes, God's voice is audible regardless of the rush of life, but in the stillness, the quietness...I've heard God, I've heard more than I have for a while. So what has God been saying to me? Well, he's preparing a way...a way out, actually. There have been some things God has revealed that are personal, things that cut me to the core, but there are things that hold me and give me hope for the future.
I've been meditating on this verse - Jeremiah 29: 11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. I've drawn a lot of comfort from that passage, because so often I worry about what the future holds - life, career, family of my own, success...and more, and I am learning (and relearning) to trust in Him with all things.
I will end with this; fasting for a week is one of the hardest things I've done to my body from a physical angle, but one of the best things I've done for me spiritually. Getting in tune as it were on a spiritual level has opened my eyes even more, and I know for certain this won't be the last time I fast. I am also more aware of the spiritual warfare that takes place in my life and the life of others, I am saddened and upset at the black shadows that accompany my father, the ones that tell him it is best to leave me alone and to not even talk to me, not even hello-how-was-your-day, the ones that tell him to yell at me, to treat me badly and to cut me verbally on an emotional level.
But all in all,
I'm standing on the Rock,
Though the waves of life crash all around me,
I will stand firm.
[n][v]
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