Pursuing God's will in my life
I want God's will in my life, more than that I desire his will as mine. As I sit here, I ponder the life I have led; I have been a Christian for 17 years, and a follower of Christ for about 7, but God is constantly changing me.
I have dreams to go out and share the Gospel message in a relational setting to places where my life may be taken away from me, in which I am unfazed by death for what I believe or death for that matter; I do love living and being with those I love, but I've recognized (without much fear) that life is short and death is a part of life.
Then there's the part of me that would very much like to pursue Youth Ministry for a career, for a great deal of time, etc. Not that I wouldn't mind this, granted I am pursuing Youth Ministry as a degree (and I certainly will graduate with this as a degree) and I will continue on being involved with Young Life, but a part of me feels called to go where His word is not accepted, where He is something illegal, but it comes down to this:
I desire God's will above mine
So what does that mean I'll end up? I don't know, but I do know that where I'll go, He'll be there and when I get there myself, I know all will be in control. Because I've come to realize (not the hard way) that one cannot run away from God, one cannot run away from the Hound of Heaven.
His will!
not mine.
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1 comments:
Whether you have a degree or not (I don't), whether you're ordained or not (I'm not), as a follower of Jesus there isn't a moment when you're not available for ministry, not a location where you're exempt from doing His will. It's all just a matter of choice. Not only in a "Christian" context does the seed of the Word get planted in the souls around us by every action, every word, even every thought that issues from our being. The call of Jesus is so fundamental, so basic, so universal, and so available (in the Word of God) that most people miss it. The incense smoke screen between the sacred and profane is pierced by a mere puff of breath, of the Holy Breath who lives in us. It's good that you say, "His will, not mine." In a slightly different form, that's another one of the prayers of the hesychast—"Not my will, but Yours, not my thoughts, but Yours, not my love, but Yours, not my life, but Yours." Over and over, we whisper it under our breath, we wake up hearing it flowing as the blood pulsing through our temples, we feel it reverberating with our very heartbeat. It is the background silence to our waking stream of thought.
Everything is consecrated now, all water is holy water, all paths walked in obedience to the call of Jesus become paths to paradise, though they pass through the valley of the shadow of death. Go with God, dear brother, and pray for Romanós the sinner who prays for you. I am here with you.
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