Everything I hate

Smalltown Poets - Everything I hate - Lyrics

It's quite simple really; I do what I should not do, I love what I should hate, I aim for success and when I don't come close I retreat and dig a deeper pit for myself.

I started writing this on Jan. 25th, and now I am picking it back up again with the intent of finishing what I started.

I am in a boat I don't like, I am at home because my school has been screwing with me and it looks like my degree finishing is put on hold. I am just 3 classes shy of graduating, because of the closeness I am pissed and burned badly. I am also in a place where I am making some bad choices, but I am getting better at finding positive outlets for myself in my community and there's a chance I might have a second job (working with adults who have disabilities).

God why is that I do what I shouldn't? Why is it that I am spreading myself too thinly in my opinon? I ask my father in heaven this, because I am my worst enemy, no one'll say anything (although it isn't too noticible), so my apathetic/lazy behaviors continue on
I am glad however that God loves me for who I am, where if I were religious I'd have to garner God's goodness and grace by doing stuff to please him, but here I am, a fallen being, loved by God all the while...I don't know how he does it thoroughly (I don't mind) but I dig it, I dig it a lot.

I am getting back in touch with my Christian music roots, heh, so that's why the theme of this blog comes from a 10+ year old song that I used to listen and now I rock out to it on my CD player as I drive. More to come, a lot of who I am and person revelation is brought to the surface through these old tunes.

Stay tuned!
[n][v]