Wednesday, October 03, 2007

introspection and self reflection...

When I started this blog a little over two years ago, I was still wondering what all 'this' (life) meant and where was God leading me. I was the new guy on campus of then Judson College, I had a squeaky clean persona that I portrayed, a keeping-the-boat-afloat-by-not-making-waves kinda guy, oh how I liked praise from others and how I reveled it being the nice guy.

***

As I look backwards and inwards I realize how God has used the rough waves of my life to drown me from my conformity and desire to be accepted for the phony facade I wore; I let people into my darkened world and I stretched myself emotionally in ways that I never thought possible, for an individual such as me. I guess that over the two years I've been at Judson University (new name, same school) has helped me open up to those around me how I really feel and what's really on my mind.
Granted, I still answer fine to those individuals who ask from the shallow end of the pond, but for my brothers from other mothers (MJ, Herbie and Justin) I've let myself be exposed in the raw, I've let them know how it pisses and infuriates the s*** out of me how my parents act as individuals and as a couple (technically they are, even though they split up). I've let them in to the fact that yes, I get depressed, and sometimes that's all that people see, but fear not! I may be going through a Job-like experience, but I haven't lost hope or faith in God to see me through.

***

Another change in my life is that I am in a relationship with a remarkable woman; I had good friends who were of the opposite sex, but honestly none of them were girl friends. Chrissy has been a friend of mine for a little more than two years, on January 10th of this year we started going out as boyfriend and girlfriend, and for the last two months we have become fiance and fiancee! God has blessed me so much with her as more than a friend and now as someone who I want to spend the rest of my life with (God willing).
She has been a source of inspiration in my life, she is someone I can share deeply of what is going on in my life, she has become my best friend and I love her as much a man can love a woman. I look forward to exchanging vows on April 11th 2009, we both realize that it's quite awhile away, but we're looking forward to it.
In addition to being a fiancee, I am a father of two wonderful sons -- Ben and Billy -- Though they are young, they still see me as Nate and DaDa, but God willing they someday call me Daddy...

What a quick two years this has been for me, I look forward to more (God willing). As my good friend and brother from another mother Justin says stuff of legends, it's the stuff of legends mate! I couldn't agree with him more, this has been the stuff of legends in my life.

~Nathanael~

2 comments:

Ρωμανός ~ Romanós said...

I have nothing to say in comment, except Thanks for the update, to let you know I'm still here, peering at you from the sidelines, and praying when I can.

Go with God, my brother, and pray for me, Romanós the sinner.

Anonymous said...

i'm baaaack!! finally, blogspot let me reset my password, so here i am! i'm back in!

oh yeah, i love you ;)